When Jake suddenly jumped up, Dirk actually looked behind them as if expecting to see something there. At least until the excitable kid went on and he realized what that sudden motion was all about.

"The system is probably just flawed anyways. Maybe the fuckin' hat just sticks people where ever the fuck it feels like at the time all while pretending there's so deep ass meaning in a kid's placement. Fuck, I think that's what I'd do if I were it. Probably pretty damn boring being a hat."

Dirk leaned back against the tree behind him.

"I'm not a big Quidditch fan. My bro is pretty good at it though and it seems like a pretty 'adventurous' sport. Nothin' quite like knocking each other around fucktons of feet in the air to get the adrenaline flowin', I guess."

Truthfully, he doesn't play because he's fucking lousy at flying. The only time he ever flew was during first year flying practice. He has not been interested in it since. He was, however, glad his little brother wasn't there to see him fail ridiculously hard at something.